Sweet Regrets

Recently, I was asked to post my “Sweet Regret” on my blog. I was asked…"What's one regret you have, which may have led your life down a different path?"


This question reminded me of a very special woman in my life who helped me discover a part of me that I never knew existed….

I took personal voice lessons for most of my pre-teen and teenage life. My personal instructor was Ms. Annamae Borja. Ms. Borja was also my aunt; my aunt trained me to sing opera, gospel and modern/contemporary music. I enjoyed taking lessons with my aunt and absolutely LOVED singing! Additionally, I was in the "Honor Choir" while attending middle school and high school; I enjoyed any chance I had to sing! Throughout those years, I often sang for the church choir and school choir, but in 1994, I had the glorious opportunity to sing at the University of Guam, trained by professional opera singers/coaches from the mainland; I sang an opera piece, which was directed by Mr. Greg Flores and Ms. Lisa Lutz. It was my first "big" solo performance before an audience of hundreds, and it was a great feeling to stand before all singing with confidence, and enjoying every note I projected - I felt at ease and in a different world up on stage; it was a rush and a feeling that I truly enjoyed! I knew in my heart that singing was something that I really wanted to pursue and could possibly pursue if I practiced hard enough. Following my first opera performance, I was encouraged to apply to take part in the CARNEGIE HALL festival, the festival would offer the unique opportunity to perform selections from a piece of major choral repertory in Carnegie Hall's Stern Auditorium, under the baton of a renowned choral maestro, and accompanied by a professional orchestra, professional choristers, and professional soloists. I knew that there was no possible way that this island girl would ever make it there, but with the encouragement of my instructors, my family and my friends, I gave it a shot anyway! Much to my surprise, a few weeks after submitting my application, I was extremely blessed when I received an acceptance phone call and an acceptance letter. I was blessed to have been one of the few from Guam to be selected/invited to sing at the Carnegie Hall. I was filled with anticipation and excitement! In the midst of preparing for my graduation, I was informed that my performance at Carnegie Hall would take place a day after my graduation ceremony. As such, I would have had to miss my last month of my senior year, along with my graduation ceremony in order to prepare for my performance at Carnegie Hall in New York. I was then faced with the dilemma of having to choose between this once in a lifetime opportunity of being able to perform at CARNEGIE HALL or choosing to pass-up on that opportunity to participate in my graduation ceremony with my family and my friends. Needless to say, I chose what meant the most to me ---- celebrating with my family and friends! Surely, I lost a lot of sleep over this dilemma, but it was well worth the memories! A year after graduating from high school, I began preparing to commit to a part-time job of singing with a local band. However, with work and school, I became too distracted with other things and slowly became too busy to continue practicing my singing, as I worked full-time and attended college full-time too. Life became so much busier for me, so fast, and by the time I caught up with myself, I became ill and was required to go into surgery for a tumor that was discovered in my throat and my vocal cords. The tumor was removed successfully, but it caused me to have partial paralysis to my vocal cords. As a result of that, I was no longer able to carry my singing notes like I used to. I then put singing to rest and to date, I haven't been able to carry a note like I used to! With all this said, I have to say that my only regret was giving up on something I loved to do just because life became too busy for me. If there's something that you love to do, never give up on doing what you can, as much as you can, because you'll never know how long you can hold on to it!

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